Fear Is Not My Bedfellow

I've discovered that most of us have an internal coping mechanism which tells us things will be okay, even if we've been down a certain road before. To the pessimist, this coping mechanism is seen as blind stupidity. To the optimist, it is seen as a sign that things must be perfect. To the realist (a category I fall into), it just is what it is. A coping mechanism.

I have no problem with people having their own opinions of others but I do have a problem with others thinking that their opinions are facts.

The reason I bring this up is because I recently read a blog about people getting into new relationships and how people will make the same mistakes over and over again. One does not need to berate people for making the choice to be in a relationship if one does not want to be in a relationship... That is perceived as bitterness. It is perceived as anger.

I was talking to a friend recently and he told me that he was proud of me for putting myself out there again after being so hurt in the past. I wanted to smack this friend. A)I've NEVER been one to lay down and lament my life and broken heart and B) I do not believe in giving up on everyone just because one person was wrong for me. I think it's utter bullshit when people are "so hurt" they can't even go on. I think it's an excuse to act like an asshole. Buck the fuck up, yo. Some people suck and that's just how life is. I guess this person just annoyed me with his "it's so great that you can move on" shit because it was then blatantly clear that this person did not know me at all. I am not a drama queen. The mediocre love of a man who didn't even deserve me does not make or break who I am. I do not think my experiences make me... my ability to cope with the experiences makes me into the woman I am. I am not a girl. I am extroverted but I spend a lot of time thinking quietly to myself. I'm extremely introspective. I learn from everything that happens to me. I understand what's going on in my life because I take the time to think about it... and therefore, I am not afraid of it. I am not afraid to love. I am not afraid to move forward. I am not afraid to keep going. I am not afraid of making my life into what I want it to be. The fear of moving on, I believe, is born of ignorance. Take some time to yourself. Think about things. I also tend to think that fear of being in relationships is from a lack of self-reliance. Whenever you venture into ANY relationship, you must take some personal responsibility. No, you are not responsible for how someone treats you but you are responsible for what you do with how they treat you. I know a lot of people who just want to put the blame of every failed relationship onto their ex. You can't do that. I will tell you right now that while I wasn't a bitch to Alex, I should not have been in that relationship and I knew it. I chose to stay and that's my fault. Accept responsibilty for your part of failed relationships. Accept your own humanity. Think about things and try to figure out what you did wrong. Try to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Whatever you do, do not live your life in fear of being hurt or you will never truly live.

Love to all.